What if your child is bullying

What to do if your child is bullying others?
What to do if you suspect your tamariki or rangatahi may be bullying others, or you have been contacted by their school, sports coach, or another student’s parents to let you know about your child’s behaviour.

While it can be hard to hear this, there are some tips you can work through with your tamariki or rangatahi to move forward in a positive way. 

  • Be calm.  

  • Explain what bullying can look like, the different forms that it can take. Give examples of bullying, like leaving people out, saying mean things (in person or online), hurting people, taking someone's things, etc. 

  • Don’t grill your child about what you’ve heard, as this can make them feel like they need to justify their behaviour or lie about what happened.  

  • Explain what you’ve heard about their behaviour and that it’s important to work on this together. 

  • Talk about how the other child/ren may be feeling because of their behaviour. Support them to understand how this would feel for the child being bullied. 

  • Try to understand why they have behaved like this. Is there something happening to them that’s making them act in this way towards others? 

  • Talk through some solutions together. Praise them for coming up with good ideas or understanding how it would make the other child feel. 

  • Work with the school or club to praise and encourage any kind and friendly behaviour they notice when your tamariki or rangatahi is with their peers. 

Kōrero Mai, Kōrero Atu, Mauri Tū, Mauri Ora
Speak Up, Stand Together, Stop Bullying!
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